A Melody of Hope

The top picture is the cover of my new book. The other picture is of my precious Melody and her husband Scott. They were married on September 25, 2010.
Today my book was published. It is a wonderful milestone in my life and a great 50th birthday gift. I am proud to have worked on something so personal and yet an issue that is so public. Below is the intro to my book. The book is being offered at Chapters, Barnes and Noble and Amazon. All the proceeds are going to the Westwind Eating Disorder and Recover Center in Manitoba. I welcome your comments.

A Melody of Hope: Surviving Your Daughter’s Eating Disorder
By Cathy Robinson

Introduction
Our journey began in 2005, when I first discovered Melody’s eating disorder. Life spiraled downhill for our whole family over the ensuing year, and I wondered how we would survive it. I was a single mom with four daughters. After my husband passed away, I had to work extra hours to bring in enough money to pay the bills. I felt guilty, as I was too busy working to spend much time with my girls. Melody seemed more affected by my absence than the others, but I missed her cues. I found out much later that she was suffering with an anxiety disorder, and she worried constantly that I might die.

As Melody approached her high school graduation, she became moody and withdrawn. I noticed some weight loss but thought she was just a little anxious about graduation. It wasn’t until she had lost a significant amount of weight that I started paying attention. I kept telling myself that she would be okay and that this was just temporary. Instead, she continued to lose weight; and one fateful day in April 2005, I heard her purging and knew I had to deal with it. I did not want to tell anyone, as I felt guilty and thought that somehow I had caused this and was a terrible mother. I tried to help Melody by controlling what she ate and did every day. After all, I was a pediatric nurse and convinced myself that I could handle it without telling anyone. This was a costly mistake, as my daughter continued to deteriorate until she nearly died.

I remember attending a support group for families of children with eating disorders with the hope of receiving encouragement. Unfortunately, the room was filled with parents struggling to deal with the pain, family chaos, and helplessness they felt. Although it was beneficial to be with others who understood my pain and fear, I so badly wanted to hear from families with a daughter who had recovered so that I could draw from their encouraging words and support. I decided I was more disheartened after attending the meetings and therefore stopped going. I felt more alone, hopeless, guilty, and terrified than I had ever felt in my life. Finally, in desperation, I reached out for help from doctors, counselors, friends, and a treatment facility for Melody; and with hard work, she slowly but surely recovered, and our family healed.

After Melody recovered, I decided to write about my journey as the mother of a daughter with an eating disorder and what I learned. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. While writing about our experience, I would cry so hard that I had to stop and walk away. Remembering brought the pain and anguish of Melody’s suffering back to the present, and I couldn’t bear it. I persevered, and when my story was finished, I had an amazing sense of peace and closure. I had healed. I also realized my story had a positive ending with my daughter fully recovered and our family healed. I thought how reading a story like that would have given me the hope and encouragement I needed to support my daughter through her struggle.

This knowledge birthed the idea of offering a collection of true inspirational stories written by mothers to provide the much-needed encouragement, hope, and support to other mothers beginning their painful family journey. After putting out the call for submissions, I was blessed beyond measure reading the stories that came in. I understood the pain of reliving the experience of having a child with an eating disorder. I know there is a tendency to want to bury the past and never talk about it again because even though we survived, the pain, fear, and guilt live on in our minds when we don’t achieve emotional healing and closure. The fear that the eating disorder could rear its ugly head again lurks in the recesses of our mind, so we dare not speak of it. But I also know speaking about our experience and sharing our pain can bring the ultimate healing and closure we need.

That is what these brave mothers did; they began talking and writing and healing. I am humbled by their honesty and courage; and I pray that this book will be a blessing to you and that you will find encouragement, hope, and support in knowing that your daughter can recover and live the life God
destined her to live.