Umbrella Etiquette

I want to talk about one of the most practical inventions-the umbrella. First I have to say that I did not own an umbrella until coming to Vancouver. In the Okanagan, it is mostly hot and dry-and the few times it has rained, we wait 15 minutes and the sun would be back out. During times when I could not wait out the few minutes I would simply put a newspaper over my head and run. This has worked well for me for many years.

So, I arrived in Vancouver with no umbrella and certainly no umbrella etiquette. The first day I went to the campus it rained. I decided that if I was to be a true Vancouverite, I needed to buy an umbrella as the newspaper method probably would not suffice. I stood in the store looking at a huge bin of umbrellas...what to choose? There is the long umbrella with the curved handle. Very sophisticated and the pointy end could be used as a weapon (if need be). Then there is the short compact umbrella. Practical and could be stored in a purse or bag. Oh the decisions. What would the Vancouverites buy...I did want to fit it after all!! I looked at the prices of each and the decision was easy. Short and compact it is.

Okay...my kids will laugh at this as they know me. I walked outside very proud of my new purchase and decided I better use it as it was pouring rain. Oh my goodness. I fiddled and prodded and turned it over and over. I could NOT figure out how to open it. Seriously! I was looking for the magic button that would cause it to shoot open...nothing. No button. I was actually laughing to myself thinking...what is wrong with me?? I looked around hoping no one was watching this amusing event and then determined the umbrella was not going to beat me. In desperation, I pushed the pole (you know the thing that the umbrella is attached to) and suddenly it moved and became quite long. Then I realized I bought the ghetto umbrella, NOT the fancy push button type. Okay... now how to open the actual umbrella? I pushed the button at the top...nothing. I was soaking wet and extremely frustrated and mortified that I could not open a stupid umbrella. Then I thought...oh it is probably a manual button. Yup-had to push it open myself. Finally, I had my umbrella open and covering my already soaked clothing. Hooray!!

I was walking to the bus observing all the people with their umbrellas and was fascinated that there seems to be rules and etiquette for owning these devices. First, you must not poke people in the eye as you go by...hmmmm good to know...sorry about that lady! I guess you are suppposed to raise your umbrella up high as you pass someone thereby avoiding attaching their eyeball to the spoke of your umbrella. Also, you cannot enter the bus with your umbrella open...freaks people out...lesson learned. And finally, you can position your umbrella to keep the rain off you. Let me explain. I was dutifully holding my umbrella above my head...sounds reasonable right? Well, who knew that if the rain is pelting at you from the left, you can turn your umbrella sidways while walking and keep drier than when it is above your head. So fascinating. I learned so much the first day of owning an umbrella. I feel as though I am finally a true Vancouverite...or at least getting there. Anyone have an umbrella story to share??